I just read another section of “Sacred Singleness” by Leslie Ludy (I’m going to post a LOT about this, just a head’s up haha)…She said so many good things! She told a story of a 32 year old woman who helped her younger sister get married, while she was still single. Her attitude about the whole thing was SO inspiring to me! I know that in a situation like that, I feel like I wouldn’t do very well, if you know what I mean… There was a part in her story where she kind of had a conversation with herself…Self pity talking against her “surrendered will” (of getting married). She recognized the devil when she heard him, though, and she was able to defeat the voice of her self-pity.
Then she went on to talk about a heartbreak experience. I LOVED what she said next: (this really spoke to me…)
“But God had a purpose for this heartbreak experience…and it was through this, the death of my vision, the death of my way, that He really became even more real in my life.”
She’s so right. Maybe that is why I went through all that I did last semester and into this summer. Maybe God needed to grab my attention. Maybe He wanted me to draw closer to Him and this was the best way to do that. I think it worked. I have never been as close to Him as this past year, especially the last part of it. So, it’s because of that realization that I can smile through my tears because I know that it all worked out for good. Not necessarily for ‘happy’, but those aren’t synonyms anyway. Besides, if God wants me to be with someone, He will send him along right then.
“God knows our hearts, He knows our needs, and He can bring that person into our life at the right place and the right time, even if we are in some remote village in a Third-World country. So, my philosophy is, if God hasn’t brought that person along, it’s not the right time.” -Sacred Singleness
I was ‘happy’ to read about how it wasn’t easy for this woman, either. I mean, these are just words on a page. She seems so at peace with everything and so completely in Love with Jesus, that she truly doesn’t need anyone else. And that may be true. Now. But I don’t know her, I haven’t seen her struggle in daily life with this. I’m sure it happened to her much like it has happened to me and many other girls out there.
“While it hasn’t all been easy, I know God gave me this season of singleness for a purpose-to not only help me grow up, but also to grow my character in Him.” -Sacred Singleness
I agree whole-heartedly with her. It hasn’t all been easy, and I don’t think we should expect it to be. God never said that life as a Christian will be easy. Yes, I have a high standards (which actually got higher). But, when God chooses to bring a man along for me, He will not try to lower my standards…he will respect them and hopefully have just as high of standards and, by God’s Grace alone, we will be able to meet them and excel above them! But God did promise that He will always be there for me and with me! He is for me, so who can be against me??!! I mean really…why do I listen to these stupid lies that I tell myself? I tell them to myself subconsciously…they don’t feel like lies. They feel like the truth when I look in a mirror, or think about my past. But thankfully, thanks to God and some super amazing friends (Yeah, you know who you are), I have been able to make a few babysteps toward healing and toward the future. They have helped me turn my head away from the past so that I can focus on better things to come in the future. I have been able to see what I have done wrong (again, thanks to the brutally honest words of my best friends…I really do thank you for that!) and what I need to do better next time. I can’t keep beating myself up over lost time or stupid mistakes. Instead, I need to keep making those babysteps in the right direction and remember what I’ve learned and move on! No, I know that it’s not going to be easy. But who the heck ever said it would be easy anyway?!
This is #Day1 and I’m going strong through God’s strength alone. When I am weak, God is strong!!
“It is my desire…to do nothing which I cannot do with my whole heart. Having said this, I have said all.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson