I always said that I would never pursue a guy. That’s the guy’s job. The guy is supposed to take the responsibility and pursue the girl. I whole-heartedly agreed with that and I thought that I would never do the pursuing. Well, life moves a little faster than I realize sometimes. Sometimes I feel like it gets a little blurry because it’s moving too fast, before I can slow things down a little to get a clear look. I didn’t let him do all of the pursuing. It started out that way. But somehow, I moved away from that because I wanted to see him or hang out with him so badly.
As I was reading through ‘Sacred Singleness’ again, the author pointed something out that I hadn’t ever really thought through completely before. The guys that are worth waiting for, aren’t necessarily the easiest to see or find (my words) because they aren’t pursuing just any girl. Sure, they may have had past girlfriends before…everyone makes mistakes (I would prefer that my future guy has never dated anyone before, but I’m not sure if that’s realistic or not…)… but she says,
“Rather, they can be found on their knees in private prayer and worship of their King, fighting for the cause of the least and the outcast around the world, or pouring out their life to build the kingdom of God.”
How true is that?! Things like that (above) are so attractive…and those things are also what I should be engaging in now as a Single woman, searching for God’s heart and will for me. Obviously my motivation for doing those things should not be to find a great, Christian guy. That would be great if it was an added bonus, but if not, there will still be no regrets. When I look back on my life as I get older, I don’t want to be looking back and constantly regretting my decisions. I want to look back and smile and say that I used my talents to the best of my ability for God’s glory!
But anyway, to all my Single Ladies: DON’T PURSUE ANY POTENTIAL GUYS! That is definitely something that I have learned. I thought I knew it, and I thought that I would stick to that. But I guess I didn’t know it as well as I thought I did, and I didn’t stick to it L But it’s really not worth it. It’s not God’s plan for the woman to do the pursuing. Trust me, if it’s God’s plan, it will happen! We don’t need to ‘help God’ in the area of finding a guy for us! (She also talks about that in her book). He’s doing a pretty good job of controlling everything without our help, so I’m pretty sure he can handle this too. It is SUCH a temptation for me, and I’m sure for you too, to pursue a guy that we find attractive (and like he’s a good guy, too) when we look around and see no guy pursuing us. I KNOW. If you’ve felt this, you are so not alone. I’ve been there; I’m there. But don’t do it! Everything will work out so much better if we simply hand the pen over to God to write our love story…if we give it all to Him. We shouldn’t try to keep a small piece of it to write our own beginning, middle, or ending. It won’t work properly. The guys are supposed to do the pursuing.
So, until some Godly guy pursues me someday, I’m going to try to get busy and focus on Christ and what I can do to further His Kingdom…I refuse to simply sit around and wait for a guy to come. That doesn’t mean that I’m ‘giving up hope’, or whatever. But I won’t just sit on my hands and do nothing until some guy finds me. That’s not God’s best. And it is definitely not God’s best for me to pursue any guy! Thoughts/stories, Ladies?