Christians mean well. But seriously…why does life have to be so cookie-cutter perfect? You go through high school, go to college, meet the “perfect guy”, graduate from college and get married right after that. And then there’s the added expectation that I’m supposed to be a stay at home wife and Mother. But what if that’s not my only ambition in life? That’s too much pressure! Sure, I pray that I am in a wife and mother someday. But I also want to do something else…I don’t want the only reason that I go to college to meet a guy and then never use what I “learned” in college.
We, as Christians, shouldn’t uphold the same attitude as everyone else. If someone’s single, we pray for them to “find” someone and tell them to keep looking-instead of telling me to give it to God and wait on His timing. If a woman is married, we expect them to immediately start a family and forget a career path to stay at home. If a girl has never been in a relationship by the time she is in college, she is left feeling like she’s weird and not valuable or loveable or beautiful. Christians make each other feel that way almost as often as non-believers do. What if I don’t want to conform and ‘be like everybody else’? Does that make me weird? What if that’s not God’s plan for me? It is so easy for us to try to be ‘just like everyone else’, especially in junior high and high school. But, s my brother put it, “Who the heck wants to be ‘normal’ anyway?” What’s the fun in that? Where’s the adventure? I want to be able to travel-for fun as well as on missions trips (I am dying to go on a mission trip!) Maybe God’s plan is for me to be single for a while so that I can do those things. I have no idea. But I am actually getting exciting about all of the possibilities! Sure, I’m gonna have times of heartache, loneliness and perhaps jealousy, but I already feel those things so it’s nothing new! But I am seriously excited to see what exciting adventures God has in store for me. It won’t all be smooth sailing, but it’ll all be worth it in the end. Sometimes I will think that I know part of His plan only to have a door shut in my face. I just need to remember to not keep trying that door. I might fall down, as I feel the ‘wind’ of the door slamming closed. I might try to stand up by myself-only to stumble again. And then God will finally get through my thick skull and remind me that all I need to do is hold my arms out towards Him and He will pick me up. We all make mistakes. I’ve made them (as I’ve often said), and I will continue to make them! But that’s why God’s grace is so amazing!
I still do not know exactly where God is going to take me… there are still many, many unknowns. But I am not as terrified as I am now. Although I am slow, I think I am finally starting to learn to give that up to God-so maybe there is hope for me after all!