I have been reading ‘Sacred Singleness’, which you know if you have been following my blog at all lately (I finished it today, sadly…), and the author had been talking a lot about being joyful and finding fulfillment in this season of Singleness. I wanted to believe that that was possible, but to be honest, I had my doubts. I still dreamt about having a guy in my life right now. And I’m not at all saying that those moments will never come again…I believe that they will. The Devil seems to like to attack us where we are our weakest. But today, with the help of one of my best friends, I began to see just how…freeing it is to be Single right now!
I mean, think about it…I’m only going to be 19 once. I’m only going to be in college once. I only have this time of my life ONCE. So why am I wishing it away? Because chances are, I’m going to miss this time in my life…and if I am constantly wishing things were different, I will look back on this time and realize at all of the amazing opportunities that God has placed before me that I missed because I was so focused on ‘finding the One‘. I can’t live like that. Tonight, I realized that I am free.
I am free to travel and discover the beautiful creation that God has made (at least more than I would be if I was seriously dating someone or married). I am free to discover who I am and who I am meant to be. I am free to be a blessing to my friends and to be blessed by them. I am free to build amazing friendships with both guys and girls and make many memories with them. I am free to not look perfect all the time and worry about impressing someone. I am free to give God my whole heart, and to not be distracted by a guy or have to give God only part of my heart because ‘my guy’ has the other part. I am free to invest my time and energy in finding out God’s calling for my life and why God has made me, instead of investing my time and energy in an earthly romantic relationship! Some things have happened recently that has made me realize just how fortunate I actually am to be Single. Sure, Singleness has it’s ‘downs’, but so does being a girlfriend, fiancé, or wife.
And I know that I will not always feel like I do right now…because I have come to realize that, often, when God asks you to let go of something, it is a daily thing. He doesn’t ask us to pick up our cross and follow Him once. He asks us to pick up our cross and follow Him every single day. Sure, we get tired…we get distracted, but I think that God understands that. That’s when he works through our weakness, He comes along side us and encourages us to stand up. When we hold our hands out in front of us, palm up and open, willing to give Him everything, then He will start to move and work in ways that we could not even imagine! He doesn’t expect us to do this alone. And I am so amazed that God has given me such amazing friends to help me through this journey, because there is no way that I could do this alone!
I know that I am not through this struggle yet, and sometimes everything might come crashing back more intensely than ever…but I know without a shadow of a doubt, that I am finally free!! (: