She was standing on the sidelines, cheering her teammates on quietly. Smiling. Clapping. Yelling every now and then. Giving her teammates high-fives and telling them good job. But inside, she was screaming, ‘put me in, coach!’ She didn’t want to spend the whole season on the sidelines… on the outside looking in. For the first game she didn’t feel too bad, because a couple of her other teammates weren’t playing either. But then coach put them in…but she was still standing on the sidelines. She attempted to be okay with that. But, if she was honest, she was a little scared. ‘What if this is how all season goes? What if I never play…or only play every now & then ALL season…What’s the point of even being on this team if I never play?’ Her insecurity screamed at her. She tried to shake it off. She really did enjoy watching the game, but she wished she was out there, too.
Well…I’ve got a lot to learn, huh?! Haha. You know what I think is cool? I think it’s pretty awesome that God made each of us SO different…with so many different passions and talents & gifts…and that, if we use our talents for our true potential, we can worship God and glorify God doing the things that we LOVE to do! And that’s true whether we’re playing volleyball or some other sport…or doing anything else, for that matter! I think that’s what 1 Corinthians is talking about:
“So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God!”
You can glorify God when you eat or drink. Don’t you think that means that you can glorify God through volleyball as well? I think it does! I feel like many people who say that ‘volleyball is only a game, why is it such a HUGE part of your life? It’s not really that important…’ Yeah, volleyball is a game. But I believe that God gave me a passion for it. I know that it is definitely not the most important thing in life…and sometimes I probably put it a little too high on my priority list (lol), but God gave me this opportunity to be on the JV team (sure, it’s not varsity and I realize that most people don’t come to JV games…), but I never thought that I would be playing in college at ALL. I only played for two years and those two years were not on very good teams…I have SO little experience, which the other girls have sooo much more than me! On top of that, I took last year off. If I wasn’t supposed to be on this team, I wouldn’t be here. It’s almost like I’m slapping God in the face when my insecurities sneak in and settle in my head. I’ve really noticed a couple things about myself when I start thinking too much about things:
1. It takes me out of the game. Sometimes I am preoccupied by why the setter isn’t setting me. I start thinking that she doesn’t like me/doesn’t think that I belong here. So when the set DOES come, I’m not really ready for it (which is MY bad…)
2. I stop having fun!!! Volleyball is supposed to be fun. Yeah, it’s work. But it really IS supposed to be fun, too. And when I compare myself to others, it really DOES rob me of joy.
I think this is true in any situation/circumstance in life. Not just volleyball. When you compare yourself to others, you will definitely feel LESS joy, if it doesn’t rob you of it altogether. When you let insecurity speak to you instead of Christ, you will also have less joy…you won’t have fun; you’ll be too worried about what other people think about you.
I have oh, so far to go in this area. But I want to get to that place of security in Christ. The place where no matter what happens that day at practice (whether I play great or horribly/whether I feel like my teammates like me or not) I will still have joy that can only come from CHRIST…I want to get to that place where I stop finding my identity in volleyball or other people, but in Christ ALONE.
Anyway, it’s late and I feel like I’m kind of just rambling a little bit…that’s just a few of my thoughts and I should go to bed b/c I have to get up for an 8:30am class tomorrow But on the bright side, it’s photography, so that makes it sorta worth it!! 😀 haha
Tomorrow will be a good day b/c God is good!