Love. We are so sure what that means. In this culture, everyone searches for it. We are often put down if we are not ‘in love’. In my circles, I don’t think people mean to put others down…but they do anyway. It’s more implied than anything, sometimes. Although sometimes it is just said, even if it is in a joking manner. “Oh, you’re single? I’m sorry…”
Isn’t that how people think today? Even in the church. Even in a Christian university such as Cedarville…and can I say, ESPECIALLY in these places?! I don’t know if anyone else has felt it, but I think that these places have put a lot of pressure on us. We feel like we have to go to college, find some great guy (or girl, if you’re a guy…), graduate, and then get married right after college. Is that really the only way to live? People here seem to think so. But I would dare to disagree.
Sure, that is a fine way of life and, in some ways, maybe even ‘easier’. Easier than staying single for an extended season of your life, or perhaps FOREVER. But if that is God’s will for a person, should we really mock them for it? I think not! Just because a woman is single does not mean that she is not beautiful or worth pursuing. It does not mean that she is not valuable or fun. It does not mean that she has nothing to live for! Here’s the thing: Jesus is who we should live for! Oh, we like to sing good songs about living for Jesus, but when we’re completely honest with ourselves, is that actually who we live for? I know I don’t.
Why do we believe that our lives can’t start until we find our perfect match? Actually, ladies…I have a suggestion to make. Dare I say that we are so much more free to do what we want, so to speak, without a guy?! We are free to travel more. We aren’t tied down. When you get married and start a family, you’ll suddenly have a whole lot more responsibility so you won’t have time (or money, not that you have any now…) to go places and do certain things!
Another issue I have with the Christian circles (I’m just focusing on the Christian circles for this blog post) and dating relationships is that they so often imply that marriage is necessary for God to use you. Singleness is VERY rarely spoken about, while it seems like marriage is talked about over and over again. That leaves those who are single feeling like they aren’t worth anything and that God cannot use them just because God has not yet put their love story into action! In my opinion, young people, girls especially, are not taught about their season of singleness nearly enough! Maybe that is why couples are getting younger and younger. Honestly, it’s REDICULOUS! I don’t care who you are, junior high is way to young for a relationship, honey. (Should your mom drive us, or mine? Yeah sorry…that doesn’t work out too well) And I would even say that, in almost all cases, high school is too young as well. I didn’t think so. I wanted a relationship in high school. But now I’m glad it didn’t happen.
But moving on… if we truly knew what love looked like I think we would act quite differently than we have been.
Amazing how God speaks about love (he actually does quite a bit…). While this isn’t just about romantic love, obviously, I think it applies very well:
“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable ore resentful, it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.” -1 Corinthians 13:4-8a
I’m sure that you have heard those verses before. But I would encourage you to really think about those beautiful words for a few moments. I won’t say much about it, because I think it can speak for itself if you let it. I just have one more thing to say.
A note for all of my single ladies: Your worth is not defined by a boyfriend! I don’t care what anyone says. God can definitely use you (in fact, he can often you use in more ways as a single lady!) and just because other humans don’t believe if you, that doesn’t mean that God has stopped believing in you! Another plea: Ladies, Please don’t wait for a guy to start living your life. I’ve made that mistake. I’ve fallen into that lie just as countless other women have. It is simply not true. Your life does not start when you get married. Your life started when you came into this world. For me, it was nineteen years ago. That’s when my life began. God has you, and me, in this season of singleness for a reason, Ladies! Maybe He can use us as Singles better than He could if we were dating someone. Maybe we’re simply not ready. Maybe we just need to learn how to be single before we can learn how to date someone. Maybe we just need to trust Him!
Btw…you girls should read this article, because she said it so much better than I did! http://convergemagazine.com/single-waiting-9283/