How many times have you said no? How many times have you closed this door in my face…yet I keep banging on the door; expecting, begging for it to open. Maybe it’s a ‘not now’ answer. Maybe it’s not meant to be at all. The truth is, I don’t know what the future holds. Maybe my desires are good, or at least they started out that way, but they still need some polishing. Maybe I am simply not as ready to receive my greatest desires yet as I think I am. The truth is, when I am staring down that door that is still firmly shut, I miss the beauty of everything else that I have received that I didn’t even have to ask for, because God is good.
When God says in Psalms that He will give us the desires of our hearts, I do not believe it means that He will give us everything that we want, or desire. Instead, I think it means that He will literally give us the desires to accomplish His will, the desires that He wants us to have.
Desires are a funny thing. We can have so many really good desires….desires that line up with God’s Word and we believe that God really has given to us. However, how easy is it to make a good thing an ultimate thing by placing this ‘good’ desire over God? How tight do we hold onto the things we want? When we finally get what we want, how angry do we get when it seems like God is stripping away everything that we tried so hard to get one-by-one? Some seasons seem to be like that…striving for your desires, whether with good or bad motivations, and God takes them away one-by-one until you basically had what you started with…or less than what you started with.
Sometimes your world seems to be spinning farther and farther out of your control. You don’t even know what’s going on anymore! Perhaps this is ultimately a good thing, but nothing seems certain any longer. Pain from your past can dictate how you choose to interact with people in the future. You’re no longer sure who you can trust with knowing everything about you for fear of being betrayed again. Sometimes it feels like everything is pitch black and you have no idea where you are going, or even where God is.
“The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me; your steadfast love, O LORD, endures forever. Do not forsake the work of your hands.” Psalm 138:8