I love your heart. Did you know that? I don’t only love what you are able to do and say. I love your heart. I love who you are. I see the conflict continually rising up within you, My Child. One of the things that you want most also scares you to death and often, when it comes close, you sprint as far from it as you can and hide behind anything that makes you feel safe.
You want to be known. Deeply. Lovingly. Completely. But your greatest desire is also your greatest fear.
Because when people know every single thing about you, they have the power to hurt you. Because you let them in. You let them see how you work and how you were made. And you’re afraid that once you let people see the real you…you to the core, they won’t like what they see. So they’ll leave. Just like others have. They’ll see that you don’t have it all together. Your hair and face don’t look great everyday. You breakdown and cry more times than you’re willing to admit. You need help a lot more than you let on. You’re afraid they’ll see you as weak. Imperfect. Not as good of a person as they had first thought.
But here’s the thing: I made you with the desire to be known. Deeply. Lovingly. Completely. And do you know what? I know you (Psalm 139:1-6). I carefully created every single part of you (Psalm 139:13). I created all of the parts of you that make you, you…by hand. I know how you work. I know what you’re going to say before you say it. I know your dreams, desires, and passions. I know what makes you laugh and cry and feel deeply. People will disappoint you. But know that I never will. I won’t always do things like you think they should be done, Child. But please just rest in the fact that I truly want what is best for you and that I will win in the end.
I see the fear in your eyes every time someone starts to get to know you. You long for it desperately. You search for it. You want it. But when it comes, you run away. You’ve let people in in the past and it has caused you much heartache. I know that. I was there for you then, too, remember? You are so afraid to let someone see the real you. You’ve struggled with various masks for years. I know. I’ve seen all of the pretty masks that you instantly placed over your face and heart when you sensed people coming closer to you. Then you finally let go of the masks. Every now and then they reappeared, but most of them were gone. You were so tired of constantly holding back. Constantly holding a mask up to your face. You were so brave to let people see the real you. Why did you think that no one would like the real you? You thought no one liked what they saw. You let your crazy out. You let people see how weird you can be. The quirks. Everything that makes you, you. Don’t you see that I made you that way? And I love it!
I have cried so many tears with you. I cry when you can’t see how much I love you. I cry when you can’t see how amazing you are. I cry when you fail to see the beauty that I not only placed on your outward appearance, but also in your heart. I cry when you cannot see your worth and value and you let others treat you as you see yourself…worthless. Listen to me:
I do not make worthless things.
You were never meant to be treated as you have been treated. I have so much better in store for you. Please just wait for my timing because I promise that my timing will be perfect! You were never meant to feel like you should be thrown to the sidelines again. You were never meant to be treated as though you are not who I died for. Because you are. I died so that you may live. LIVE! Not remain in chains. Not continually placing the baggage on your shoulders that I already took from you so long ago. I want you to truly live. Enjoy the life that I have given you and enjoy the people and the relationships that I have placed in your life. Remember who I made you to be, Child. Being known is not a bad thing, when you allow the right people into your beautiful heart. Stop holding back from the life that I want to give you. Because I do not make worthless things.