I hear all of your unspoken questions. The questions that you are afraid to ask because you are afraid of the answer. You’ve hidden from them. You’ve ignored them and hoped they would go away. You’ve even tried fighting them. You’ve tried to pretend that nothing can get to you, because you’re stronger than that.
But then you discovered that you’re not.
You’re not as strong as you once believed. All that “strength” that you made others believe you had were simply walls to keep everyone out. That whole tough-girl act was really just a cry for help…for someone, anyone to finally notice you. Notice that you aren’t okay and tell you that being ‘not okay’ IS okay!
You used to feel your own bravery. You asked the right questions. You sought what you desired. But the problem was…you asked the wrong people. You began to feel unsure about everything. Was the way you grew up just how life is? Is this the experiences that everyone has? You questioned your desires. You began to wonder if they even came from God. You thought they did… but what if they didn’t? What if this was all just one big mistake?
Slow down a little, Child. I think you are brave. You have thought that you lost your bravery because you experienced life a little. You haven’t. You’re a little more careful now, but that is a good thing too. Did you hear me? I think you’re brave! I have seen so many times that you have put yourself out there. Maybe all of those times weren’t for the best reasons, but I still saw your heart. I saw that you wanted to please me. I saw your true desires shine through even your sometimes twisted motivations. You’ve loved and you’ve gotten hurt by the people that you have let in. But somehow, you haven’t let that stop you. Oh, you’ve tried to block everyone out. You’ve tried to shut them out to avoid getting hurt again. But you can’t.
Because that is how I made you.
I made you with such a burning passion for people. I made you with the desire to be close to the people in your life. I want you to desire to receive others’ love and to give it out freely. Is it a risk? Yes, it always is. But this is what I want you to hear:
It. Is. Worth. It.
I have given you so many crazy amazing desires. Some of them a lot of people have and many people will understand. However, some of those desires are unique. Maybe people won’t understand. But that’s okay too. You’ve fought yourself so hard and you’ve talked yourself out of the idea that your desires are coming from me. You’ve convinced yourself that you got it wrong (again). Maybe you’ve misinterpreted the desires that you have, because none of them seem to be fulfilled or coming close to being fulfilled.
These desires are from me. You just need to remember that my timing looks different than yours. I see how impatient you are for some of your greatest desires to be fulfilled or at least be in motion! You’ve become impatient before and you’ve moved ahead of me. I never let you out of my sight. I was there for you all along. But it wasn’t my best…and I think you knew that. Daughter, please hear me when I say that your desires are good. They are coming from me! I have personally placed your unique passions and dreams and desires into that special heart of yours to be fulfilled when the time is right. Stop convincing yourself that you have awful desires. And stop moving ahead of me. Instead, develop those passions within you. Look at me and dream about the day when I will make a way for your specific place in the world. You do have a place here. A place that only you could fill.
Pick up those questions that you have long ago dropped because of fear. Start asking the right questions…to the right people. I know what to do with the desires that I have placed in your beautiful heart. You’re doing the right thing. You’re on the right path again. If you’ll allow me on this journey with you, take my hand. I would love to lead you across gorgeous sandy beaches to watch a sunset and hold you tightly across the unexpected, jagged rocks. Take my hand. And ask me your questions.