Americans don’t like to admit that they are weak. That they can’t do something by themselves…with their own strength. I am that way. I feel like I have to do everything by myself and that I CAN do everything by myself.
But the truth is, I can’t
I like to pretend that I am strong and that I don’t need any help. But that is a lie. God really spoke to my heart in that area when I was in Mexico. For one thing, He made sure that I had pretty much no strength or energy on my own. I was running on sooo little sleep and I was pretty much always tired. I got 3 hours of sleep the night we left Cedarville and 5 hours the next night…and I barely slept during camp for some reason. Yet, I knew I had to be energetic and fun for my campers, so I knew that I needed strength and energy but I wasn’t getting nearly enough sleep for that.
So I decided that every morning (as well as throughout the day as needed) I would ask God for strength for that day. Not the next day. Not even in a few hours, because I knew that I would need to ask for strength and energy multiple times a day, some days especially. God really pulled through to me and He really taught me that He can give me the strength that I need exactly when I need it.
The first day was super chaotic. We were all kinda thrown into being counselors and thrown into the camp as the campers were arriving. One of my 4th grade girls kept crying because she was overwhelmed with everything. I had music practice. I didn’t know if I had a Junior Counselor so I didn’t know what to do with my campers as I was practicing music for chapel. And I was still trying to figure out how everything worked at this camp and where everything was and how the schedule was going to look. But somehow I got through it and God showed up in that time for me.
I think that for me during this camp, God spoke to me through the little things. I could feel when He gave me strength and energy when I had none. There were times, especially at dinner, when I was sitting down and thinking: “I am just so tired right now.” I had had a long day after not sleeping very well. And I knew that chapel was coming up and in chapel all the counselors had to be super energetic and crazy because we always dance around before chapel starts and then there are also motion songs that we dance around while singing. Then, because I was on the music team, I also had to be energetic as I was playing guitar/singing on the days when I was on the stage…and even when I wasn’t, because I am a counselor, I had to have energy anyway! So there were times when I would pray right before chapel and say something like, “God, I have no energy right now. Please fill me up with energy to get through this chapel service!” And He did. And it was awesome to see and feel His presence there.
Why is it so easy to feel His presence at camp? Why is it so easy to feel Him filling me up with strength and energy at camp, yet so hard back here at school?