He’s always there. He never relents. Whispers in your ear day and night. Filling your head with doubts. Filling your heart with confusion. Taking every ounce of energy that you have with promises of something in return…only for you to turn around feeling empty, broken, desperate…Desperate for healing. Desperate for a hug and someone to tell you that everything is going to be okay…and someone to hold you hand during your journey. But He once again made you believe that you are alone. Forgotten. Abandoned. Not worth someone’s time. Alone. So you sit, alone, silent tears sliding down your cheeks or uncontrollable sobs heaving from your gut. Believing that you have to do it all alone.
Truth: You don’t have to do it alone! You were never MEANT to do it alone!!
He has been filling your head with so many ‘what-ifs’ that those what-ifs readily roll off your tongue without you even thinking about it. You never said those things before. But now they are all that you can think about. What if I fail? What if I’m not good enough? What if they don’t like me? What if I miss God’s ultimate plan for my life so I will have to settle for something else? What if God believes in me too much, so it turns out that I can’t do what God is calling me to do? They never end. If you aren’t careful, those ‘what-ifs’ will swirl around in your head day-in and day-out. No rest. No peace. Confusion. Broken.
Truth: Jer. 29:11- I know the plans I have for you. Plans for GOOD and not evil.
He delights to remind you of your past. All of your mistakes. Whether you’ve dealt with them or not. He reminds you of them at all of the wrong moments. He whispers into your tired ears that ‘nobody will ever love you if you tell them that’. So you keep it a secret, allowing it to rot and fester and destroy you from the inside out. He whispers into your ears that ‘nobody understands’ or ‘they won’t respond well’ or ‘surely they haven’t done anything like that, so they will think you’re a horrible person’! The shame. The guilt. It’s a heavy weight. Too heavy for you. You begin to slowly sink down to your knees and nothing in you dares to hope that you will ever hope again.
Truth: 1 John 2:1- “My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous”.
Truth: Micah 7:19- “He will again have compassion on us; he will tread our iniquities underfoot. You will cast all our sins into the depths of the sea”.
He loves to keep you down. Keep you depressed. Keep you pessimistic. Keep you thinking that there is no hope. God will not come to your rescue. God will not give you the strength you need. You shrink back into the corner by this time. It’s too dark out there. Too scary. Your strength and energy is gone. You can no longer see the way you used to. The ironic thing is, when you’re in the corner, you’re in the shadows. It’s dark. It’s probably even more scary than if you dared to inch your way forward. You can’t even see the chains that He has sneakily clanged onto your wrists…your feet. One-by-one until all four limbs are encased in the heavy, cold metal. You try to keep looking up. Keep looking for a way out. Keep searching for hope. For a helping hand. For God’s face. Anything. Before long, you have listened to the lies for so long, they are all you hear. About yourself. About others. Before long, He teaches you to look down. Down at your dusty bare feet. No show here. Torn. Blistered. Burned. Dirty. Helpless.
He is a bully. One that I think we have listened to for far too long. He speaks to us about our hearts. Our appearances. Our past. Our present and our future. I think a good prayer to remember to pray daily (or whenever the lies come at us fiercely and relentlessly) is this:
“God, rescue me from the bully. God, come quickly. I do not want to be taunted today. God, send ten thousand angles to cover me with their protection. God, let me believe your truth instead of the lies. Stand me up in strength with renewed courage and power. Go before me. Hold me. Defend me.” –Do you think I’m beautiful by Angela Thomas
There’s beauty somewhere. There is hope and there are ten thousand reasons to keep fighting. Never give up and remember…that you ARE a #fighter.